Woman

noun



    An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a
    rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by
    many of the elder zoologists with a certain vestigial docility
    acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the
    postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion,
    deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld,
    it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all
    beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from
    Greeland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular
    name (wolfman) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind.
    The woman is lithe and graceful in its movement, especially the
    American variety (_felis pugnans_), is omnivorous and can be
    taught not to talk.

    Balthasar Pober


—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary