Vanity

noun

The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.

    They say that hens do cackle loudest when
        There's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid;
        And there are hens, professing to have made
    A study of mankind, who say that men
    Whose business 'tis to drive the tongue or pen
        Make the most clamorous fanfaronade
        O'er their most worthless work; and I'm afraid
    They're not entirely different from the hen.
    Lo! the drum-major in his coat of gold,
        His blazing breeches and high-towering cap --
    Imperiously pompous, grandly bold,
        Grim, resolute, an awe-inspiring chap!
    Who'd think this gorgeous creature's only virtue
    Is that in battle he will never hurt you?

    Hannibal Hunsiker


—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary