"I'm great," the Lion said -- "I reign The monarch of the wood and plain!" The Elephant replied: "I'm great -- No quadruped can match my weight!" "I'm great -- no animal has half So long a neck!" said the Giraffe. "I'm great," the Kangaroo said -- "see My femoral muscularity!" The 'Possum said: "I'm great -- behold, My tail is lithe and bald and cold!" An Oyster fried was understood To say: "I'm great because I'm good!" Each reckons greatness to consist In that in which he heads the list, And Vierick thinks he tops his class Because he is the greatest ass. Arion Spurl Doke
—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary