Funeral

noun

A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

    The savage dies -- they sacrifice a horse
    To bear to happy hunting-grounds the corse.
    Our friends expire -- we make the money fly
    In hope their souls will chase it to the sky.

        Jex Wopley


—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary