Critic

noun

A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

    There is a land of pure delight,
    Beyond the Jordan's flood,
    Where saints, apparelled all in white,
    Fling back the critic's mud.

    And as he legs it through the skies,
    His pelt a sable hue,
    He sorrows sore to recognize
    The missiles that he threw.

        Orrin Goof


—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary